New Jersey law allows you to end your marriage for any reason and without your spouse’s permission. However, it doesn’t mean that a divorce won’t potentially invoke a wide range of emotions that may take months or years to work through. In some cases, these emotions may seem contradictory as you may have some fear of the future despite also feeling a sense of relief that the relationship is over.
Relief and empowerment
It’s not uncommon to feel a sense of relief the moment that you choose to file for divorce. After you do, you may also feel as if you have greater control over your life now that you aren’t dealing with a spouse who tries to control or belittle you. Even if your spouse wasn’t abusive, it can be emotionally draining to be with someone who doesn’t share most or all of your values.
Ambivalence is a common refrain
The fact that you get a fresh start after your divorce may be countered by the fact that you also have to worry about your children’s feelings about the matter. You may also find that guilt about seeking a divorce is countered by a feeling of anger that you were put in a position where you had to do so. Ultimately, you may feel nothing or have trouble understanding how you feel as a result of filing for divorce from your spouse.
Although divorce may cause a myriad of emotions, a settlement is based on objective facts. For instance, even if you’re angry that your spouse cheated on you, that doesn’t mean that you can take all of the marital assets. Furthermore, infidelity or other poor decisions won’t necessarily prohibit your spouse from having custody of any child that you share.