Navigating life as a divorced mom

Going through a divorce in New Jersey can be overwhelming and difficult, especially for moms. From the financial challenges to co-parenting and never-ending guilt feelings, it’s hard to catch your breath sometimes.

Many women have successfully navigated their divorces and made it to better days. Look for supportive people who have words of wisdom and compassion to share as you work through this new chapter of your life. The following can provide some food for thought.

Accept that it’s going to be challenging at first

This may not seem like helpful advice, but sometimes it feels easier when you accept the situation. That acceptance then makes room for self-compassion.

Women going through divorce have said that they worry more because they have to do life all alone now. It’s also hard for many moms to find that sweet spot of getting enough time for themselves while managing the kids, household and everything else.

As you learn to advocate for yourself and find ways to take breaks from the daily parenting grind, expect guilt to become a common theme at first. Remember that you can show up better for your family when you recharge. And remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel; it does get easier.

Expect to miss the old routines

Some moms have said they miss the family nights together and other parts of their old life, even though they would never want their ex-spouse back. These feelings and nostalgia about your former routines may trigger waves of loneliness, especially in the beginning as you go through events like the holidays.

These are times when women have said they leaned on their female friends, especially those who had been through a divorce themselves, and built up a new support system to help them keep busy and get through the tough, emotional times.

Don’t shy away from new things

After a divorce, it’s no surprise that it feels scary to go out on a limb and trust other people, especially if you are contemplating dating. There is no rush; take the time you need to heal. Knowing when you’re ready to date is another area your support system can help you navigate.

Expect trial and error as you carve out a new co-parenting relationship and routine with your ex-spouse, and finally, do one of the hardest things a divorced mom can do. Give yourself credit and compassion for doing your best to keep everything together.

While divorce is an ever-changing journey, support and self-compassion can help moms create better days and a brighter future.