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A Common Sense Approach To

Be careful about what you say to your children during a divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 6, 2023 | Divorce |

Divorce between New Jersey parents is especially difficult for their children. If you are in the midst of ending your marriage, there are certain things you should avoid saying and doing to your kids.

Any kind of lies

Although it might be tempting to lie to your kids to shield them from potential ugliness of your divorce, it can cause more harm than good. You don’t have to give them every detail about the split and what led to it, but be honest. Children deserve the truth; plus, they can see right through you and will know you’re lying, which could damage your relationship and their trust in you.

Insinuate that they are the reason for the divorce

Never insinuate that your children are the reason why you are getting divorced, even if you’re only joking. Kids take situations like these to heart and often internalize things when their family dynamic changes. If you blurt out that they’re the reason for the divorce, it can lead to disastrous results.

Use them as messengers

Children want to be loved by both their parents and crave validation even more during a divorce. The last thing they need is to be used as messengers. Don’t ask them to find out any dirt on your spouse during your separation and after you’ve officially ended the marriage.

Act as their friend instead of their parent

Divorce doesn’t mean your relationship with your children has to change. Although you are moving forward as a single person, it doesn’t mean you should act as your kids’ friend instead of their parent. They need both parents to remain in their lives, strongly guide and discipline them as necessary.

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