Like most New Jersey parents, you want what is best for your children. In fact, their well-being is among your highest priorities in life. Any number of adult issues can have a trickledown effect when it comes to raising a family. For instance, if you or your spouse loses a job, it can have a significant impact on your children's lives, especially if yours is a single-income household.
Divorce often occurs in New Jersey families. This is definitely an issue that would have implications in your children's lives. If you recently decided to file for divorce, you may be worried about how that decision will affect your kids. The good news is that many people have trod similar paths before you, and you can glean from their advice regarding ways to encourage and support your children as they adapt to a new lifestyle.
If children feel torn between parents
Kids tend to internalize divorce, meaning they often blame themselves for their parents' marital problems. When children experience high levels of stress when parents sever their marital ties, it is often because they feel confused as to where their loyalties should lie. They feel torn between both parents.
You can help your kids cope by letting them know that you encourage them to maintain active, healthy relationships with your ex. Unless there is a reason that his or her presence in their lives might be detrimental to their safety or health, they will likely fare best if they know you do not get upset when they spend time with their other parent.
Each child's reaction may be different
While your kids may have similar personalities or interests, the way they handle the news of your divorce can vary. One child might become a bit more reclusive or quiet, while another might express anger or try to rebel. You might also notice signs of regression with older children reverting to behaviors such as wanting to sleep in your bed or holding a stuffed animal for comfort.
By agreeing to work as a team with your co-parent and by tapping into local support resources, you can help your kids come to terms with the situation in as healthy a manner as possible.
Parental conflict is definitely a child anxiety trigger
You and your ex may continue to run into problems as you interact as co-parents after divorce. The more you avoid exposing your kids to your struggles, the better. If they constantly witness confrontation between their parents that they know is related to them, they may feel upset and responsible for your circumstances.
It's not a perfect world. It's also not uncommon for issues to arise between co-parents after divorce. However, the way you handle those problems may greatly affect your children's ability to cope with your divorce. Don't be afraid to reach out for additional support, especially if the issue at hand concerns a legal matter.