What are gray divorces and why are people getting them?

If you’re age 50 or beyond, you’ve likely gone through ups and downs in life, especially concerning your marriage and raising children. Perhaps things are getting a bit easier now, at least, hopefully they are. Maybe you have a few grandkids, are in good shape to retire and have plans to travel and enjoy life in your golden years. As part of this age group, you may also be one of many New Jersey residents who plan to include divorce on their list of things to do later in life. 

Because of increasing numbers of people filing for divorce at age 50 or beyond, it has come to be known as gray divorce, although that’s merely a colloquial term that has no legal reference. While you may never have imagined you’d be negotiating a divorce settlement after 25, 35 or more years of marriage, you are definitely not alone in your struggle. The key to successfully adapting to a new lifestyle later in life may lie in the type of support you secure. 

You may relate to one or more of these issues 

It’s impossible to predict which marriages will last a lifetime and which will end in divorce. Many couples who sever their ties later in life say the following issues influenced their decisions: 

• They drifted apart from their spouses. 
• They no longer had anything in common. 
• They found their marriages very boring and wanted something more out of life. 
• They were financially more independent than they had been years ago and didn’t feel a need to remain in unhappy relationships for financial security. 
• One or both spouses may have had affairs. 
• Many spouses overlook negative situations for the sakes of their children when they’re young. When kids become adults, spouses may not feel a need to keep living with the same unresolved issues. 
• Many marriages can’t withstand the strain of longevity. Spouses are living longer than ever and this means they have to live together much longer than couples did long ago.  

Only you know what problems led to your decision to divorce; however, you may have friends or family members who can relate and may be able to offer you support as you come to terms with your current circumstances. Divorce is seldom easy and is often a highly emotional experience. Because you are age 50 or older, your divorce may be more complex regarding property division or other financial matters. Knowing where to seek support is key to avoiding complications.